- Lyrics
- Album list
Larry the Cable Guy
-
A Letter to Shania Twain
Lyricist:Daniel Whitney
Last Christmas I went up, Niceville For a little vacation, and boy I love Shania Twain Boy I tell you what, oh she makes me hornier Than a retard watchin' baywatch
But anyway I read her letter in the hotel room I had one of these nice fancy hotels So I tried to seduce her and sent her this letter This is my letter to Shania and she actually got this letter
Dear Shania, you're finer than hell, I'd eat your turds You think I'm kiddin', I figured that charmer off the bat I'd treat you like a prize winnin' hog And give you the run of my home estate where I live down here
Off the alagator infested lake, tell you what They caught a big oh sixteen foot long gator In that lake by me, dats right, we're talkin' world record gator Tell me now you ain't got hard nipples, from our home stay
Tell you what Shania, I ain't like them Niceville pussys I'd treat you all the best things life had to offer Please call me, here, I'm stayin' at the Chugg-A-Lugg Inn Across from that big muffler joint
Boy I got me one of them wigglin' beds I tell you what if you want one I'll sperge Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com And borrow you a couple of quarters, fifty cents will give you Almost 10 mintues of bed wigglin', you know vibratin'
To let you know I mean business, Shania 'Bout datin' you know and to let ya know that I ain't know lowlie hard up scumball I even closed a couple of gifts in this fancy Chugg-A-Lugg Inn Hotel envolope
Thats right there's a bunch of coupons For that fancy Longjohn service restroom down the street And let me tell you sumethin' and if don't ever use that one coupon That's in there for extra Hushpuppies
Send that son of a bitch back 'cause I might give that to my sister And her husband for their anniversary There's also a Reggan bumper sticker in there And a bunch of gritch and tits to get her done lick on tattoos
I had a made up special, I think your fine, now call me Don't call out tell one o'clock though 'Cause I'm usually on the phone Talkin' to one of them 900 talk dirty girls
Love in Christ Larry the cable guy
-
|