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MC Paul Barman
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I'm Fricking Awesome
It's the last days Jocks think pussIes are ash trays And artsy-farts have more Baggage than Samsonite Those ancient Hamptonites
They're always like, 'I can't tonight' And men who are too beautiful Are too dutiful with their cuticles Plus it's like talking to a carpeted cubicle I was eating food when a dude pseudo-suitable said
'My rap talk's the back drop From laptop to blacktop You certainly appear to be mightily stacked op My iconoclastic rap schtick Gets my jimmy waxed like Chapstick'
'I think LL Cool J and Canibus are both fantastic So-called experts can't see how the text works So they come through the textures Of italicized excerpts'
Believe me, it sucks Acting impressed Plus the whole time he rhymed He stared at my breasts At best he was neither ugly nor dumb I guessed I'd rearrange the boredom And make it into bedroom
I said, 'Let's go Max like Headroom' We brought the ruckus like Red Grooms On the couch where we made out With my hand on his paunch He invited me to march In the Million Sperm Launch
The fun talk stopped When we heard the front door unlock His dad made such a Grand entrance, dude You'd think we'd need sunblock At long last he walked past
And let out a calm blast of bombast But before he could set down he briefcase I said, 'You're a quief-face Go back to Boston'
Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com When I want some, I get some I'll wade through the flotsam and jetsam 'Til I've met some smart hotties and caught 'em My parents named me Autumn But now I'm fricking awesome
Next I took the Express to 86th and Lex Flexed my Metrocard back in my wallet and Walked to the Metropolitan The Great Hall had hundreds of boys Straight out of 'Eightball' wait, Paul Barman was posted at his station
He said, 'For students there's A $5 suggested donation' Our eyes met It's nice to be hypnotized By a man you don't despise yet He had a type of flow And I can't quite label it
All I know It made me want to take off my cable knit Sweater, oh he better be hetero I hope they don't catch us in The Lila Acheson
Wallace Wing when Paulus brings The mattress in--rudely He Backlashed my booty Like I was Susan Faludi Over the Grace Rainey Rogers Room rostrum
When I want some, I get some I'll wade through the flotsam and jetsam 'Til I've met some hot smarties and caught 'em My parents named me Autumn But now I'm frigging awesome
If I want some, I get some When I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam I'll draw some Lacoste alligators chasing an opossum
I'm fricking awesome
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